Going Public

I've had this secret blog for just a little while now, to keep track of my thoughts/feelings/complaints in private. I couldn't NOT blog about it, but how to hide? Luckily, there are endless possibilities for new URL's.

If you're reading this, you must be curious about what was going on with BN2 before I told my "real" blog. There's not much here, because she/he came along much sooner than I expected. But here it is, for posterity.

Welcome to the (Un)Secret Chronicles.

Not Vomiting!

I'm still nauseous all the time. Big shocker. Just wanted to whine and complain a little bit. I love my morning coffee (even if it's half-decaf - I'm still working towards full decaf) but lately I haven't been able to finish a cup.

Here is what it's like to be me right now:

Night time: wake up several times a night for whatever reason, usually twice to pee.
Morning: Unable to eat, I try to force down at least a piece of toast and some coffee, and a bit of OJ with my vitamin. The other day I woke up starving, and I was so excited that I had scrambled eggs with cheese. Of course 10 minutes later I felt like I would lose it all.
Mid-morning: Nauseous, I sit at my desk and nibble something carb-heavy while sipping water or stale ginger ale.
Lunchtime: I am usually hungry enough to eat something. Yesterday I had a soup-salad combo at Louise's, but insetad of eating too much when out at lunch I didn't even finish.
Dinner: No appetite. Although since I hardly ate during the day I am weak and tired. I must play with my toddler, though, so I suck it up until his bedtime, at which point I collapse on the couch and watch tv.
Evening; After an hour or so of TV I am ready for bed but also HUNGRY! So weird. So I eat some kind of carb heavy snack, like Snackwell's cookies or graham crackers.

Great diet. Hardly any fruit, barely enough protein. Thank goodness for prenatal vitamns. At least I'm not actually vomiting, so those stay with me.

Chemical Imbalance

When I got the office this morning the whole floor smelled like shit. Some crew is doing work on the sewer system for the building next door, and the odor has reached every corner of our office. Of course, I am already nauseous (big surprise), so I holed myself up into my little room and snorted Avon's Light and Lush Body Lotion to mask the smell. When I finally peeked my head out the door and sniffed the air, all I could smell was coffee.

So I poured myself some. It's caffeinated. Sue me.

My husband is all over me to not ingest things that are dangerous for the baby. (I keep forgetting that BB1 is not 'the baby' anymore.) For example, diet soda. Caffeinated drinks. Medications of any kind. He is way more paranoid than I am, and that's saying a lot. Now he doesn't want me to get my hair colored. I'm friggin' going gray here, people, and I work in Hollywood, where you are not allowed to go gray.

At least I will soon be able to tell people that I am pregnant, and that's why I look like a homeless person.

Complaining? Who, Me?

I'm working on a Sunday because of all the drama surrounding a family visit which made me have to take last Thursday off. So here I am trying to make up for it. But I can't concentrate because I am so nauseous and now I also have a raging headache. It started this morning and I thought it was because of lack of caffeine so I stopped at the drive-thru Starbucks (angels singing) on the way here and got a half-caf mocha misto but that only served to get coffee/chocolate stains all over my shirt and pants. I still have the headache.

Plus it's weird to be here on a Sunday and my kid is at the daycare b/c my husband is out of town having the time of his life camping and fishing and surfing. I am so jealous of him. All healthy and able to run around and swim and deal with himself instead of laying around on couches moaning but also trying to pretend that everything is fine so that our toddler can have fun and play and not worry about Mommy. Not that he would, but still.

I will be really happy when the nausea goes away and I finally start showing so I can just go around like the glowing pregnant woman that I am on the inside.

5/7 Weeks

The fetus should be about 5 weeks old, making me 7 weeks pregnant. (I know, right?)

Because I was so hyper-aware of my cycle, the time to test, and every second of this pregnancy, this will of course be the world's longest pregnancy.

I haven't had any problems besides occasional inability to eat healthy food and serious paranoia brought on by too much reading of other people's tragic stories. Otherwise I am healthy and strong. And that's good and okay. Only 33 weeks left to go. Let's hope they are all as safe as the last 5. (Seven.)

The word is spreading to my family and friends. I still won't make a general announcement until after the doctor appointment. Everyone is thrilled, though they are not as excited as last time, except my mother, who already sent me a gift so nice it made me cry. It included a maternity nightgown with matching robe, a book for BB1 titled "I'm a Big Brother," a book for me called "Your Second Child," and a baby rattle/teething toy shaped like a butterfly in soft girly colors.